The Ice Palace

We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for...

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Why Can't *I* Have A Coloring Book?

You know how you got out to eat and sometimes they have coloring books for the kids? Why don't they have one for adults too? I can name a few times when that would have come in handy.

You are out to dinner, it's a first date. The mood is set. The lighting is just right, you look AMAZING. Your hair finally did the same thing on the right as it did on the left. Then it happens. Your blind date walks in and he is short. I mean not just 5'7" claiming he is 5'9" like someone who shall remain nameless(CG---ooops it slipped). I mean REALLY short...5'4". He waddles up to the table, and after he gets situated on his booster seat, you see it. The hole he has, where he used to have a tooth, or maybe two...You can't tell. THIS would be a perfect time to have a coloring book so you didn't have to look at the redneck midget. Did the waitress even ASK you if you wanted one? No...so you have to suffer through dinner, trying NOT to look at Joe (who you suspect is really named Bobby Joe) and his tooth hole.

You are out to dinner with a girlfriend and you both see a hot guy at the bar. Your girlfriend is kind of a "loud talker" and you would rather not risk having her shout to you how hot he is. However, if you had a coloring book handy you could color a lovely picture, and write your note on the back..I'm just saying. They could make adult books, where you have to color pictures right out of the kamasutra. Well an updated version where the man doesn't look like a stinky cave man and the woman actually knows what a razor is.


I dunno...just a thought. Well *I* want one dammit!

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