Don't Put Stuffed Animals In Your Car!

Or Why Stupid People Should Be Banished From MY world...
(...and this is my world)

O.K. for those of you who have just joined me, or people who have forgotten, or just because I like repeating myself, (I like the beach) I go out on Thursday nights. CLICK HERE to remind yourself. It doesn't matter if I drink mass quantities of Vodka or water. I am old! I can't function on 3 hours of sleep anymore.

Last night on the way home I did not drunk dial. NO! Jen did not take my phone away. I do believe I rambled on about C.G. and how I saw a train not once, but twice yesterday, and it didn't make me weepy, because I have happy childhood memories of trains. (I was a *foamer at a young age) I wasn't even planning on getting on line last night. It never fails. I will come home, feeling all tired, and emo. I will get on line, and drunk E-mail. That's so much worse than drunk dialing, because there it is glaring at you from your sent box the next morning. I had left my computer on when we left the house, so when I sat down my purse it hit the mouse, and I noticed there was a message on my Yahoo IM. That never happens because first of all, when did I log into there? Secondly, why did I leave it open? So I sat down and looked and it was from Texas Guy, saying he had lost my number. I didn't really expect him to ever call me again, because I had e-mailed him (45 times) and he didn't answer. I thought what the heck and sent him a message back before I went to bed.

Debi: LOL Yes, and you also deleted your account. OK well it was fun talking to you so call me sometime, here is my number again 555-555-5555.

Not 15 seconds later he returned the message, because he was on line at 3:00 AM Texas time! How was I to know?

T.G.: OK give me a sec.

Debi: OMG LOL You were not spose to be online...I was just leaving you a message.

So he called and we chatted for a while. It was nice again...but again he is still in T E X A S. He asked me when I was going to come to Texas, and I told him that if Diva had her way it would be Mississippi and soon! (Unfortunately my southern family will have to wait since this is peak season for me, and since I enjoy having my job so I can't go anywhere, yet.) I had to get some sleep so I cut the conversation short, but I slept like a baby. O.K. a giant snoring, drooling baby...but still!

So I get up late. Mainly because I was dreaming about Patrick from Spongebob Squarepants, and I didn't want to get up. I rush out the door, and there is ooodles of traffic. When I go to work there isn't a lot of traffic, but I guess everyone is getting a jump on their three day weekend travels. My drive to work usually takes 10 minutes, but today it took 20! So, that gets me to Starbucks late. Now people who go to Starbucks, me included, are lazy. I mean why on earth would you pay $4.00 for coffee you can make it at home for less, unless you were lazy, or really liked something with a crap-load of caffeine and chocolate? I take lazy to a whole other level. I use the drive-thru. So I am dazed and driving along, and mind you *I* have the freakin right of way, when this crazy chick in a crappy blue(I hate blue!!!!) car pulls right in front of me so she can be in front of me in Starbucks. YAY! You Ms. Blue crappy car lady, YOU ARE a winner because you will get your frappacino sooner than *I* will...Oh the horror! I should just throw myself off a cliff now....You win...yes that's right crappy car lady YOU win. I concede. So yeah...I am now pissy. So I am sitting behind her, and she has SO many stuffed animals in the back window of her car that she can't even see me give her the SU-FI. That makes me pissier. Then she takes...and I am NOT kidding here...10 minutes to order. Now I know Starbucks can be confusing if you are a noob or something...but 10 freaking minutes?! I could have driven to the Starbucks on the next corner and ordered faster. Oh the fun does not end there though. We finally pull up, and she turns the corner to the window and because her vision is hampered by the enormous amounts of stuff animals that seem to be multiplying all over her car, she doesn't turn sharp enough. (Or maybe it's because she is a complete moron---and stupid people make me sad) So she BACKS UP. Um, hello?! I am RIGHT behind you...What ARE you doing stupid blue car stuffed animal lady!? I realize my car has a giant dent in the side, but that doesn't mean I want icky blue paint on the front too. So I honk, just a tiny bit so she knows she is being stupid. I don't do anything else...Even though I wanted to tell her to return her license to the cracker jack box she found it in. Then it happens, she GLARES AT ME!

OH NO SHE DIDN'T! <---Said with a southern accent. Had I not been really tired, and strapped into my car by my seatbelt, I would have probably unleashed some "Super Burrito Fury" on her. Lucky for her...I am lazy.


*Foamer: Train Industry term for one who loves trains a LOT!