The Ice Palace

We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for...

Monday, May 22, 2006

Mission Impossible...

This weekend I made it my personal mission to make-over my friend B.S.

Well ok, what REALLY happened, was after she saw Jen and I on Thursday night she said she felt frumpy. So my big mouth and I got me roped into helping her De-frump. To be fair, when I met B.S she was not frumpy at all. I mean she didn't know what deodorant was, but at least she dressed nicer. The only way I can describe her look before this weekend was...Well... an old dirty NASCAR bitch. First things first. Friday night we made her color her hair, and that made her go from old dirty NASCAR bitch to just dirty NASCAR bitch. YAY!

Saturday Jen, my daughter L. and I all piled in my car and off to meet up with B.S for a "Santa Maria Saturday".* When we saw her she was wearing black jeans, rolled up at the bottom. She had on those black orthopedic shoes that old ladies wear, and a muscle shirt with a little naked man on it, that she had gotten in Mexico. (Can you say Fashion train wreck?) She had her hair pulled back in a pony tail, with a SCRUNCHY (not in public ladies) and NO make-up on. This was going to be harder than I thought. So we headed off to Olive Garden for lunch complete with Bellinis. She had never been to Olive Garden, so we had to educate her on traditional "Diva Club" ordering techniques. This ALWAYS includes mass quantities of cheese, and alcohol. After that we headed off to the mall. I figured we could have taught her how to do skin care and make-up, but she needed a trained professionals help at this point. I told the very nice lady at the Clinique counter to treat B.S as if she was a caveman, and fix her. I mean, she wasn't even using any kind of skin care products at 45 years old!? They lady at Clinique asked her what moisturizer she was using...and B.S said "Moisterizer?" *boggle* They made her look like a girl, well sorta. We were so excited we almost wept. Jen took over from there, as we designated her the fashion advisor for the day. The first thing we needed to get rid of was that shirt...YIKES. Jen picked out some great things for B.S., and she ended up buying ALL of them. Before we went into the next store, B.S changed into her new top and jewelry. She actually looked pretty good at that point! After MAKING her buy a purse, and some great shoes we were exhausted.

As we drove back home satisfied with our work, B.S. called to thank us. She said that she felt better than she had in a long time. So, I guess we did a good job because that's what it's really all about. When you look good, you feel good! Now if we could get rid of her "homeless looking" boyfriend!

*Santa Maria Saturday: Any Saturday when you drive 40 minutes to Santa Maria to eat at Olive Garden, and go to the mall to shop.


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