The Ice Palace

We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for...

Thursday, June 15, 2006

HNT

Today's HNT is a little bit different for me...
Today My Half-Nakedness isn't a photo as much as it is the nakedness of my heart, my soul, Me!

Someone recently told me that he didn't have time to get to know "The Other Debis". I really pondered that statement for a long time yesterday. The conclusion I came to is this. I am secure in who I am. I know me, and I LOVE me. I don't know too many people who can say that about themselves. It has taken a lot of years, and a lot of mistakes, and a lot of Jesus to get me where I am, but that's O.K. All of those experiences, bad and good, made me who I am today. I'm a multifaceted individual. THAT Makes me interesting. I wouldn't go back to the way I was even last month, if given the chance. Everyday I wake up and thank The Lord for all the joy I am about to have, for all the lessons I learn. When my father died of cancer 16 years ago it showed me that you just never know, and life is short. I live each day like it's my last. I tell the people that I love, that I love them. I try and do my part to make this world a better place. It can be something simple like a smile, or holding the door open for someone behind me. It can be something huge like helping a friend who has lost everything in a hurricane...It's not about what I do...but WHY I do it. Joy. It's all about sharing the joy for me, and you can NEVER take that away from me.

Have I become jaded when it comes to finding "The One"? Yes, perhaps I have finally. Yes, I made some bad choices. However I have experienced things NO WOMAN should ever be put through. I was in an abusive relationship that ended with him going to prison for trying to choke me to death on my own kitchen floor. I have had my self esteem damaged so badly that I didn't even want to look in the mirror. I actually started to believe I was hideously ugly. I have had men cheat on me, lie to me, steal from me. You name it I have been through it. Maybe I am too trusting, and too naive. Maybe I am too giving, and too loyal. Maybe I am too loving, and charitable. Perhaps...I thought those were good traits. Will all of these experiences change me? I sure the hell hope so! Growth can't happen without change.


Have I become wiser? Maybe a little bit.

Am I worth getting to know? Absolutely.

Will I find LOVE? I already have.





Flaws And All

6 Comments:

At 4:06 PM , Blogger Becca said...

Wow. Just wow. I can't tell you how much I needed to hear what you needed to say today...

Bless...

HHNT!

 
At 6:45 PM , Blogger lecram sinun said...

The nekkednes of your post is a wonderful testerment of who you are. I love it when people celebrate themselves. Be Well, Cheers and Happy HNT!

 
At 7:36 PM , Blogger kaliblue said...

I applaud you for loving yourself and learning from mistakse along the way. Self esteem is hard to re-gain when you have been through what you have. Rejoice and celebrate your beauty sister from the inside out :-). HHNT

 
At 10:59 PM , Blogger X. Dell said...

Sometimes, people are like cracked mirrors that give you a distorted reflection of yourself. Many people internalize this.

From the wisdom and strength that you gained from this expperience, I'm happy to know that you found a better mirror, one that you're no longer afraid to view close up.

Best to you. Happy HNT.

 
At 4:57 AM , Blogger Sheets said...

huh....I read.... I looked.... I saw no flaws. I saw a beautiful woman who is human.

 
At 5:14 AM , Blogger HNB said...

Amen sister. It takes a long time sometimes for us to love ourselves and I think once we do, we just can't take the time for those who can't love us or really get to know us. Great HNT

 

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