Southern Diva of The Year

About 6 years ago I was living in a place I hated. I had just ended yet another bad relationship, and I was pretty much miserable. I didn't want to go out to sing yet for fear of running into the ex but I was a Diva with a NEED to sing. A friend had told me about this nifty little place on line called MPlayer. I said what the heck and signed up. I started going into these really weird little chat rooms and singing with other people over a computer Mic. Not exactly what I was used to, but it got me my fix.

It was a Saturday afternoon. I was bored and none of my usual friends were on so I was surfing around to different rooms. I popped in to this one room where someone with the screen name "BuxomDiva" was singing. I was immediately impressed, because she was good. TOO good, she was better then me...How could this happen? I hated her! She was vulgar, mouthy, and way too talented. She had this THICK southern accent and I swear to you I thought she was a big o southern black girl from the way she talked. (she isn't by the way) We ended up having a lot of fun that day in that chat room. She used to run her own "singing room" called "Diva's Den" that she invited me to later that evening. I was thrilled that someone THAT talented would want me to join their little club...So I did. We ended up running that place. If she wasn't in The Ice Palace(which was my room at the time) I was in Diva's Den. That continued on for about a month until I moved to where I live now. Then it got seriously addicting. We would stay up all night long singing with friends, and asking people what kind of pickles they liked. By the way....Sweet, Dill or are you BI-Pickle? We even had a theme song that we played when we booted overly obnoxious people out of our rooms. This was an awesome time for me...So how could I have known it was going to get even better?

Now you see BD(short for BuxomDiva) was a TRUE southern bell. She was about to be married in a couple of months and decided she MUST have me at her wedding. I thought this was a fabulous idea, even though I had never met this woman, and thought she was totally insane. I was much braver in my youth. Unfortunately I didn't have a job yet, and couldn't afford it. She offered to fly me out to Mississippi, so I went. When I got off the plane, my fears were realized. She was wearing all black, black Pat Benetar make-up, and all these tiny little black clippies in her black hair and standing with a skinny guy from MPlayer that looked like Kid Rock.I was scared When she lead me to the bar I was so relieved. After a couple of drinks there I was ready for the rest of the trip. We ended up doing a lot of partying in N'awlins, and ended up drunk. (imagine that) The next day I woke up with the biggest cold sore I had ever seen on my lip. It was terrible! It had a face on it, and when I looked at it in the mirror I swear it snickered and mocked me. I spent the rest of the week trying to cover up Herman...That's what I named it...With coverup and lipstick to no avail. We ended up hanging out with undercover cops, security guards, random guys in the bar, and eating at a lot of buffets. Somehow BD ended up getting married, and a few months later realized that her hubby was a moron, (Hello!? Any man that eats Cheerioes while sitting on the toilet is a moron!) and that ended that. That trip to Mississippi was so much fun, but I still have a hang over! I have been back out to see her one other time, when she and her new husband flew me out, and that was even better than the first time...I still laugh when I add soap to my dishwasher. Both trips I ended up in hand cuffs though. (insert innocent look here) I'd love to elaborate but she would murder me.

A lot has changed in our lives now. She is remarried to a wonderful man, who thinks she is the best thing since corn bread. (I tend to agree with him) BUT I am still searching for Prince Charming. She was a big o' hoochie mama (well ok we both were)...and now she is a wonderful mom, wife, and friend. She's a God Fearing, Jesus freak...and I think I love that most about her. She has been there for me in the middle of the night when I was crying about random guy 0_1 that broke my heart. She has been there for me in the middle of the day when I bored at work and need a giggle. She is even there for me, when I don't think I need her. She makes the best squash, and sangria. She is a true friend who loves me no matter how crazy I get. Now if only I could get her to California....

Wait...maybe that's not such a good idea, then everyone at "Thursday night Ego Boost" would think she was better than me!

Oh well, I'm willing to risk it.