The Ice Palace

We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for...

Sunday, July 10, 2005

And Yet Again...

Now normally this would make me wanna wet myself with glee, but I know that he is just trying to torment me, and he starts of the conversation with "I'm Bored!" Hello!? McFly? NO woman wants to hear the reason you called her is because you are BORED! Try something a little more flattering like oh I dunno...I actually like talking to you? You have great boobs! (By the way I do) or how about cause I think you are nifty? Anything but bored.

So guess what? He's on his way home. Great! Yay! Throw a party, buy a cake. I don't care! I mean that's great for you and all that you can be bored at home with your porn and bottle of KY (cause he apparently likes CHEAP lube)...But this does NOTHING for me. He won't call me when he gets home. He won't wanna see me when he gets home. He'll just wait until he's out of town again. Then when he has waited the appropriate 4 days, so as not to make me think he might actually LIKE me, he will call. The conversation will be something that involves A) trains B) Paramedic and/or CDF C)Hot wings and scooting your rear on the ground like a dog D) All of the above. Then classy "Cute guy" will do something sexy like burp in my ear. He wonders why he doesn't have to beat the women off with a stick, and he has to beat himself...er nevermind....It could be any or all of the aforementioned reasons.

I'm sure he'll call before the evening is out to tell me that ran over a raccoon on the freeway or something fascinating like that. I will be excited to see his damn name on my damn cell phone and even though I should scream at him, and tell him that he's not even the right kind of guy for me cause I am looking for someone that I may actually see once a week...I won't. Why? WHY?! Because eHarmony costs too much money to match me with idiots that hate everything about me.....and "cute guy" doesn't...and it's free.

6 Comments:

At 9:40 PM , Blogger Miss Cambria, 1892 said...

To slightly misquote the Chicken Lady "Your life is sad, eh?"

 
At 2:06 AM , Blogger Miss Cambria, 1892 said...

Oh, and btw, you have had 11 rants so far and not a single one mentioned ME! WTH???

 
At 11:49 AM , Blogger Debi said...

Tisha is saying the same thing...Jeez you self absorbed friends...That's MY job!

 
At 2:36 PM , Blogger Jen said...

As I tell my customers...KY is for amateurs. If you wanna be a Jean Claude Van Hand you need to move up with the big boys.

 
At 6:40 PM , Blogger JustaDiva said...

I STILL LOVE YOU!

 
At 9:01 PM , Blogger Debi said...

Tisha! LOL!!

 

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