The Ice Palace

We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for...

Thursday, July 14, 2005

My Confession

I didn't post yesterday because I wanted to make sure I got this right. You see I have a confession to make. I have had a deep dark secret for the last 3 years now.

I secretly desire my friend's husband. His name is David and he is perfect, well except for the fact that he is married to my friend.

David Dresses well thanks to Tisha. That is important to me. How many times have you been out with a guy and they show up wearing something that looks like they picked it up off the floor, sprayed it with Fabreeze, and Downey's wrinkle reducer? Well I have, in fact I watched "Roxie's daddy" do it. Not only was I horrified, but I made him change. David never breaks this rule, and therefore is perfect.

David is tall. How many times have you been in a bar wearing heels, and standing up, when a vertically challenged man walks up, looks up to you and asks you to dance? Your only recourse is to suddenly make up the excuse that you were just about to pee, and run away. This would never happen with David, therefore he is perfect.

David really knows how to clean up. OK there was that ONE...Little incident with the dishwasher overflowing dish soap into the kitchen...Ok it was like three times, but you know CLEAN MEN ROCK. David likes to use lots of soap, therefore he is perfect.

David is really kind of quite unless given a rainbow of drinks in one night. I am pretty chatty, and I like to be the center of attention, so I need a man who knows when to shut the hell up and let me be the princezz that I am. David let's Tisha be a Diva all the time, therefore he is perfect.
David has a nice ass. OK so I really have a thing for guys with
A) A nice ass

B) Great Teeth
C) sexy eyes

David has a nice ass, therefore is perfect.

David is a gamer, aka geek. I have a thing for geeks who know what it means when I say " OMG I can't believe I just raided for 15 hours, and still didn't get an uber drop off that lame mob. We were pwned!" David knows what that means, therefore is perfect.

David is southern. I have such a thing for men with manners, say "fixin" when they aren't fixing anything, and call me darlin'. David says fixin, therefore he is perfect. OK David, I said it...I want you.

OK This post was all in fun so no one flame me. Unless they clone David, and I get a Dave-bot, you don't have to worry he is happily married to Diva of Diva's Den.


At 3:27 AM , Blogger Jen said...

I want David, too. We should fight for him bitches!

At 7:45 AM , Blogger David said...

Oh my lanta. I should have known something like this would have happpened. I kept bugging Debi about wanting me, not that I have ever had any kind of 'sign' that she did. It was just one of those instincutual things. Beyond that I will have to break some molds, I am not perfect. I choose not to fit into the boxed definition of such and therefore I tell you Debi, you may not desire me any more. *turns up nose* I will now proceed to undo your ego boosting observations.

1. Dressing well: This still needs work, I find that I still get glares when I come out of the closet or not-so-subtle hints that my socks do not match. But I am working on it.

2. Ok.. I am tall. I can't refute that one.

3. Clean up? Hrmm... I don't think the overflow of the dishwasher ... well ok.. I am fairly clean. I detect sarcasm for some reason.

4. Yes, being normally quiet comes in handy and is a nice antecedant to an outgoing woman. I let them enjoy the attention.

5. My @ss. I believe this comment refers to the 'shower' picture that was seen wandering the internet. I will however refute and contest to the fact that it exists in very few books a definition of nice butt that would consider mine anywhere close to it. Aka, my butt is not all that, so that is another clue that you really don't want me. Seeing as how I dont have great teeth or eyes either, that falls out as well.

6. I game, therefore I am. I will give you this one. I know all the l337 (Elite) dude speak as well as all of the various pwnage lingo and abbreviations. So therefore, I am perfect.

7. I am a Texasippian with a southern mixed accent. You may bask in my presence and swoon to your hearts content, you may even want or desire. But you cannot have me.

Good day to you. *bow* - David

At 9:18 AM , Blogger JustaDiva said...

I BOL!!! ok first off Debi your post is the bomb... totally halirious.. and I have to agree... by your observation he is indeed perfect :)

but moving on to David's post, hahahhahh ..... you are so wrong for that, but it really is funny... I am glad you didn't use to many big words, but as ever your efficiency to verbally express yourself has come shinning through... humm wonder if that can be incorporated in this marriage hehehehheh .....

and Jen, you too can have a David... come to the "light" side heheheheh .....

til I blog you again,
Diva :)

At 9:37 AM , Blogger GQ1NYC said...

There are "David"'s Out there you just have to be patient.

And for the record Northerners have great manners too.

Even though my girlfriend who was born and raised her in NC makes fun when I say Wota (Water) and other NY accent stuff that slips out.

At 11:01 AM , Blogger Debi said...

OK first of all Jen hates southern men, so I think I win! *grin*

Second of all The light side...OHMYLANTA I am gonna pee!

Third of...all...I'ts Frida time to get my drink on cause my job hates me today

At 8:51 PM , Blogger madman said...

There is a lab in China that is now offering to clone--but it is $150,000.00 and all you get is a newborn. I predict David will now ask for a three-some! I enjoyed your post.

At 1:32 AM , Blogger Debi said...

Mad I adore you.....LOL!

At 9:25 AM , Blogger Rae Ann said...

My hubby's name is David and he's Southern and tallish and quiet and has a nice ass and good teeth, but that's where the similarities end.

At 10:26 AM , Blogger JustaDiva said...

heheh maybe you should of left his name out.. now ppl who are not happily married are going to stalk any Tisha and David they can find in the south and murder us in our beds..


and what the heck is wrong with southern guys?????

and what in the heck is wrong with the "LIGHT SIDE"


At 10:17 PM , Blogger Jen said...

I't's been 2 days, 6 hours and 12 minutes since you last blogged...get on the ball woman!

At 6:01 AM , Blogger JustaDiva said...

who me????
I think since CG said hey NO MORE blogging about me, this board is taking a turn for the worst!

At 2:01 PM , Blogger fsgsf said...

I bet David wants you too!



NJ from NJ

At 5:11 PM , Blogger Debi said...

LOL NO CG is working and hasn't derailed anything in a few days so ya know he's not blogworthy....however...I did go shopping with Jen, that should be blogworthy.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home