The Ice Palace

We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for...

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

We Shall Call Him Nate...

'Cause that's his name.

I know I am not feeling very creative these days...but read on anyway won't you? Good!

JenB and I went to a little Halloween party the other night at a bar we hadn't been to in a long time. The last time we were there things got ugly so we decided it just wasn't worth it. Our Friend Veigny was doing his karaoke show there, and Jen wanted another excuse to wear her costume so off we went.

We got there and immediately there were way too many people for my liking. Maybe I should clarify. Way too many people I don't LIKE. We got a table and sang one sing right away. I was having an OK time when Jen exclaimed she was "over it". At that point, I figured I should just choke her. This was HER idea. I was against it from the beginning, as it was a "work night" for me, and I am kind of over this going out during the week more than once. I got a sitter, put on 10 lbs. of makeup, and teased my hair. We were staying damn it!

As the night progressed, and the men (boyz) became more intoxicated I guess I suddenly looked like someone who would date them, because they started to talk to me. (Note to self: get scarier costume next year.) Bachelor number 1 was dressed in a mullet wig and a "PONY" shirt. Yes, I frequently date men who don't look like they took much time to think of a costume...or was it a costume? I dunno...either way. NO! Then we have Nate. His friend had to talk to me for him. What are we in high school? The conversation went something like this....

"Hey, my friend wants to know what you are drinking."

OK THIS guy (Nate's friend) is not in costume, he is dressed like he just got off a field of some sort. He kind of smells funny.

"Um why? Is he taking a survey?"


OK Nate's friend has no sense of humor, this is futile.

"Stoli cran."

"What's that?"

"Stoli, and cranberry."

"What's Stoli?

Shaking head in disbelief "It's VODKA"


He looks at his friend and says something, then he asks what Jen is drinking, and I say the same. She wasn't really drinking, but a free drink is a free drink. They returned shortly with a couple of drinks, set them down and walked away. I just looked at Jen and shrugged. Of course, I thought they probably put that date rape drug in there or something and were waiting for us to fall over. They returned again and started talking to us. Well, Nate started talking to me. Jen and Nate's friend just sat quietly next to each other trying not to make eye contact.

Nate decided the best way to impress me would be to tell me about much crap he owns. OK this is about the WORST thing you can do. I am NOT materialistic. I have a job. I support myself. Men who think they can buy me offend me. I am NOT like that. Hey Nate...I don't care if you have a’s in BAKERSFIELD. I'd rather live in the warehouse at work, than live in Bakersfield! This debacle continues with him asking for my number. I know I know I should have given him the reject number, but I was afraid I would see him again somewhere and he'd kill me in the parking lot. I gave him my number. I honestly didn't think he would even remember to call, but alas, he did. First of all I told him I could not go out Mon-Wed as I have my kids and this Monday was a special occasion. Secondly I told him I work early in the morning and don't usually take calls after 9pm. (Of course my friends or hot guyz are the exceptions) Third, I told him I don't hang out in Paso(the town we were in) except to go to work.

I had spent most of the evening on line with a friend of mine talking about shoes, then went to bed early. (I lead an exciting life don't I?) My phone had died earlier in the day and I had forgotten to put it on the charger so when I turned it on this morning I had a message from Nate on my voice mail. He was asking me if I wanted to hang out with him Paso tongiht. WTF!?

Please please please men...when you call a girl you are interested in, unless she is dressed in a trucker hat turned sideways and a "bootylicious" T-shirt do not ever use the words "Holla" and "peace-out". Do I LOOK like I am auditioning for "Flavor of Love" to you? NO! You live in Bakersfield, not Oakland. You are not kewl because you speak all ghetto. NO NO NO! Have some class...'aight!?

I will not be "Hollering" at Nate in the near future...or...ever.



At 1:23 PM , Blogger Binary Blonde said...

Oh, Christ. One of THOSE...

God help you.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home