The Ice Palace

We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for...

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Call Center Princezz

One upon a time *I* was a Call Center Princezz... When I first moved back to the area I live in now (I grew up here) I needed internet access because I had an addiction to on line porn...Ok not really but it sounded good. I needed internet fast, and there was a local company in town called "The Grid". My mom had given me a CD, and said all you have to do is put this in your PC and you have access. Well I called them, got myself one of those fancy DIAL-UP accounts. SHUT UP! This was a long time ago...and started to get connected with this "super disk". Well it ended up jacking up my already crappy computer, so I was forced to call their tech support number. I hated that since I thought I was quite the computer geek. I got connected to a very nice man named Chris (we shall call him Fruit Smoothie) who ended up getting me connected finally, and helping me fix my computer issues even though he wasn't suppose to. He said he was impressed with a girl who could "speak geek", and told me to e-mail him just to make sure my internet was working. OF COURSE he was hitting on me, but I didn't care cause I was new in town and didn't have a boyfriend. So I did and we started talking all the time. We ended up going on a few dates. He knew I needed a job and encouraged me to apply there where he worked. I did and much to my delight I was hired on as a customer service rep. That was ok until I found out that "Fruit Smoothie" liked to visit porn shop arcades A LOT. I mean that I can get over but the fact that his ex wife went on a date with us one time was TOO much (ok so I had invited an old high school friend for potential dating purposes---but STILL).

The Grid was an eclectic mix of college students, nerds, and losers. It was the most fun I had ever had at a job. I got to talk on the phone, play on high speed internet, and eat all day long. It was like getting paid to sit and do what I wanted to do at home. The day crew consisted of my supervisor L. She was a bitter lesbian, who liked to go out to Sushi a lot. I really liked working for her, but I think she wanted me. Then there was my cube-mate Chad. He was great, but thought I wanted him from my first day...Hello...You are gay...Um NO! We ended up pissing everyone in our office off with our garish Christmas decorations, complete with a live tree. Somehow we did NOT care. He ended up becoming my roommate instead. There was Fusco, who was our Web Hosting guru. He was really nerdy, and totally cocky...We all made fun of him behind his back because he lived with his mom and lived off Top Ramen noodles...Ok to his face...But ya know it was GREAT! I think he had a fantasy about becoming a waiter, because he always took our food orders for meetings. There was "The little boy with leukemia" well ok she was not a boy, nor Ill...But she was some bitchy little short lesbian with one of those "I hate men" hair-cuts. She came back bragging about how she went to some concert and they let her dance on stage, and I ended up making some comment about how "they most likely let her on stage because they felt sorry for the little boy with a terminal illness". There was my OTHER supervisor B. I remember he would always take us all out bar hopping with his gold card and call it a write off. He was hot, and to this day I still fantasize I could be MRS.. B...But I think he married some short chick a while back so perhaps I should just let go of that dream huh? There were a few people on the night shift that I had become friends with while I trained them too. Ryan was one that I remember most. I think he had a crush on me from the beginning but I always had a boyfriend while I worked there so no chance. He was fired from there for talking on the phone every night to some girl 2 hours away, and ignoring other calls. He should have got the hint when his supervisor (who had listened in on all of his calls) told him he was "suave". He later instigated a failed e-mail take down of the company after he left, that lead to a career change of serving food in tights.

Some how I got promoted to Quality Assurance. All that meant is that I got paid a lot more to narc out all of my friends back in customer service when they sat on the phone talking to their friends. I loved that job, but they downsized and threw me back into customer service with the same rate of pay. I was like a kid at Christmas I was so excited. Although Customer Service wasn't as fun anymore. Chad got fired for sexual harassment of a lesbian. (Before that I think you had to commit murder in order to be fired from that place.) so my partner in call center crime was gone. I ended up hanging out with our office admin. Now I could go on and on and she deserves a post all her own, because she is in fact a witch....

But that will have to come later.
I ended up gaining 20lbs, a LOT of friends, and a lot of skills working for that place, but sadly they closed the call center when Earthlink(The Devil's I.S.P.) bought us out. It was still the best job I have ever have.


At 2:30 PM , Blogger Jen said...

it's the best job you have ever had? I think you can do better than that. Isn't being a mom the most rewarding and best job you've ever had? *innocent look*

At 2:37 PM , Blogger Debi said...

No because that's not a's an adventure...wait no...that's the's a blessing?

Shouldn't you be at work?

At 3:29 PM , Blogger Miss Cambria, 1892 said...

you guys clack me up.

At 3:51 PM , Blogger JustaDiva said...

I have to agree it was the best job you ever had, and I REALLY enjoyed you working there, way to much free time and three ways phone calls in that place!!

Fruit smoothie hahahaha ..... hats off to Clay for that one... I think he stills has nightmares of MPLAYER and smoothie boy ... :)

and children are a blessing ... and if you have two, that means BOTH of them (wink)

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