The Ice Palace

We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for...

Friday, December 08, 2006

People Are Stupid...

I mean not ALL people...but a lot ok?

Yesterday (read: all freaking week) was a nightmare at work. Now I know I complain about "Idiot Moving & Storage" a lot, but I LOVE my job. I LOVE answering the phones. I LOVE being able to educate people on the best way to either move across the country, across the world, or across town. I love it when at the end of their move they take the time to send me a thank-you card and let me know *I* made a difference in their craptacular move, because moving IS stressful. I love the fact that I have enough free time during the day to e-mail friends, and chat on the phone with my mom about her Pond a la "little shop of horrors". It's nice to have a job that I actually want to get out of bed for, and sometimes actually look forward to going to. That's the way all jobs should be. Yesterday, I should have stayed in bed. Seriously...

We had a local move booked through our sister office in San Luis Obispo. The boss’s son (complete waste of space) had taken the call and booked the move over the phone. All I had to do was type the paperwork and send "The Goof Troop" on their merry little way. The night before the move the boss called and said The Goof Troop would be helping a road driver with a "tiny little thing" BEFORE my local. OK so stilllll no problem. I was going to call the shipper and let her know. The boss said have the guys do it in the morning when they know they are going to be there. OK...Bad plan...but OK. So The Goof Troop comes in and I TELL them, TWICE that they need to call their shipper as soon as they get to Job #1 and advise of a time when they will be at her house. Yeah ok...what WAS I thinking? Really...Pick up a phone, and dial those big scary numbers? OMG no...To actually do that would require my crew to actually have half a freakin brain of which they do not have. So on the way out the door to job #1 the crew is so busy grabbing each other's asses...or whatever it is that they do that makes information slide out of their heads...that they didn't call the shipper. So now, we will call her is angry. (Well...come to find out she had been angry for the past 4 days at pretty much everyone so it's not all together our she will be called bitch.) She calls the SLO office. They tell her we will be right out there, and we CAN start without her being there. WRONG, NO, NOT going to happen. I call my crew and tell them NOT to enter the residence or start until she gets there, as this is a liability, one I am not going to get my butt in a ringer over. One of the guys tells me there are open topped boxes everywhere, some things not packed, and the house is filthy dirty inside and out from what they can see in the windows. Now the shipper finally arrives back at her residence, and to be fair my crew was screwing around playing basketball in her driveway. (Yes I know...they are asshats) of course she is going to be angry; However she made the fatal mistake. She called me, and started shouting at me. I don't care how freaking angry you are at my company, and my crew...don't ever shout at me, as it makes me all mean and then I am less likely to be nice to you, and then I will blog about your filthy, unprepared ass behind your back and send all kind of porn to your new address in your husband's name....Maybe. Maybe not. So I explain to her what liability means (idiot) and explain how yes I know the crew was wrong, and yes they will be punished for it (most likely not) and we are very sorry. Now she is somewhat happier, but now starts spouting off how The Goof Troop is going to damage her furniture on purpose. OK my guys are stupid, and some times slow, and maybe even drop something on accident...but ya know what? NO, they are NOT going to throw your crap on to the truck and break it on purpose. They aren't THAT bad. I know these guys. I have spent more time with these guys over the past 2.5 years than I have any of my I KNOW them. Move on lady or I am going to call my crew in and let you move your own filth. We finally come to an agreement that my crew is dumb, but she will let them continue. (What a gal eh?) Hours pass and my boss, who is out of town, calls me and asks if I had killed the goof troop yet. I explained everything was ok and he thanked me for doing a great job. So...I am happy and I am content, and my day is almost over.

Not So Much...

I get a fax from one of my customer's who is in our storage facility. Let's call her Nut job. Nut job came to us when another moving company in the area closed down. We ended up taking over her storage. I sent her a new storage contract, explained her rates would not change, and invoiced her for the month of September. She called me one day when I was home from work sick. She left me five... (Who leaves five messages?) messages on my voice mail. She said that she didn't like the date that was on the invoice, and she expected us to send her a receipt every month. I drafted a letter off to her explaining that I do not send additional receipts. I can send a statement of payments with each invoice, if that would help. She called me a few days later and explained that she could not use her phone very much because she was sure it was being tapped. She also said that the "Other Company" had given her receipts, and changed their billing dates for her. I explained as politely as I could, that we were NOT the other company, but agreed to sending her a receipt so she would get off my phone and stop telling me how aliens have been trying to contact her, and all insurance companies have it out for her, because she is a woman. (Insert look of horror here.) So now, it's October, and she sends the check for her storage to my San Luis Obispo Office. (Even though she has been provided with my address here, because it's at the top of the invoice) They get the payment, and a letter from her, by the time they open it, and process it, it's been a couple of weeks. She is worried again about the date at the top of the invoice. *I* am the only one who sees that invoice. Some people send their checks in at the beginning of the month, and some send them at the end of the month, either way there is no late fee, and I don't report any of this to any credit agency. I have explained this to her twice now. So I draft her letter (again because we can't call her) and explain to her that I will NOT be changing the billing date on my invoices, and it isn't a problem if she sends her check in on the fourth of the month. I put this in the envelope with her invoice so I can save a stamp. When I get the fax from her, it says..."why does your mail come from Santa Barbara?"(Which is south of us--and she is north) Um...WTF? A) WHO CARES!? B) Shouldn't you be harassing the post office about that? C) I dunno and I don't care! Then she starts DEMANDING I change my billing date. I am so gonna get a big purple crayon and 'x' out the date and write in there "whenever the hell you want". Then she is asking me why the SLO office hasn't deposited her check from October yet. I don't know...that's what they do, it's stupid, but they own the company...what can I do? Oh and she keeps misspelling my damn last name! I am so over it. I tried to be nice, but she is clearly INSANE. I am going to keep sending the invoices to her the way I have them. I am NOT going to respond anymore to her crazy demands. If she wants to take her $40.00 per month out of here, then that's fine, because no one else would take her nutty ass.

I take a deep breath and look at the clock. Ahhh 4:30 Free and clear. Just 30 minutes left. Fate looked at me and said: " will be tortured right up to the very last minute."

My crew and I were in the office talking about all the nutty goodness that had just taken place, when a freight driver drives up to pick up something in our warehouse. My hours are clearly posted 1pm-4pm for receiving. Now if he were a driver that had not been in here before I would have pointed that out, and sent him away but this guy had been turned away, by me, before for coming in after 4pm. He came in and stood in the office kind of looking around. One of my local crew says "He needs to pick up something"

Without even looking up from what I was doing (because now I am so over this day I wanna kick puppies) I say "Well then he can come back during receiving hours, which he knows." Then I continued on shuffling papers on my desk without making eye contact.

He just stood there. So finally, I said. "You know the hours here. I'm sorry my warehouseman has gone for the day, your dispatch needs to call me first, and I have told you this." So Mr. Cocky Pants looks at me and says "You close at 5." all smart ass like. My crew then ran out the front door, because they knew he was about to get my wrath.

I was speechless. How could this clown argue with me? He's lucky I didn't come across my desk and kick him in his "dickey-clad" nuts. Typically, I would have given him a verbal beating that would have made him cry, but I figured the words would be wasted on him so instead I just kind of mumbled something about "Not for Receiving" and glared at him until he left.

At five I crawled out the door...looking forward to a giant glass of wine.

Tonight I will finally have that glass of wine.
I Will listen to
"The Dark Hours"
Mojo radio live
...and everything will be all better...right?


At 6:44 PM , Blogger aka_monty said...

I wish you would've made him cry. Because that would be FUNNY AS HELL.


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